[Election ‘016 054] The Prince of Light

The Prince of Light

Thedude3445

 

The sunrise shone brightly like an omelette, steam rising from the skillet as the cheese melted into its surface. No, wait. More like a sponge cake rising in the oven. Yeah, that sounded better.

[Election ‘016 050] Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th, 2016 (Part Two)

(Continued from Part One)

[Election ‘016 049] Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th 2016 (Part One)

Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th, 2016

by Thedude3445

Foreword: All Primary maps were generated using a cool tool from RealClearPolitics. Check it out here. You may have to open the maps in a different tab to view them in full-size.

 

1.

January 27th, 2016

Mitt Romney laid over in his bed and his face hitt Ann’s back. It woke him up, his eyes jolting open. His vision was blurry and his mind was spinning from whatever he was dreaming about.

He then felt the warmth of his blanket and of Ann’s back. He put his arm around her, put his head back against his pillow, and closed his eyes.

It was a very long, cold night, and Mitt’s mind cleared into an icy Iowan landscape, one that he was so familiar of, for all those years before…

 

2.

January 29th, 2016

Sean Hannity turned to Mitt in that same-as-always spin and smiled. “So here on the show today we have a very special guest coming to talk to us. It’s former Massachusetts Governor and Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney. Mitt, how are you today?”

[Election ‘016 033] The Three Governors

“…we commend to Almighty God our brother, Bobby; and we commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord make his face to shine upon him and be gracious unto him, the Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.”

“Amen,” Jeb!, George, and Chris said in unison. Chris buried his face in the collar of his shirt. Jeb! wrapped his arms around his friend and held him close.

“I can’t believe he’s gone, Jeb!. It was… it was a week ago that we were at the debates and I said – oh god, Jeb!! I made fun of his ears! If I would’ve known then I wouldn’t have-”

[Election ‘016 015] The Chris Christie Bridge

Today, we’re posting Home Clipart Animal Deer’s very first Guest Post; our friend Ktalaki has written a President story for Governor Chris Christie, and we’re happy to have it on this site. Enjoy:

The Chris Christie Bridge

by Ktalaki

“Hey you!” a professionally suited businessman said, getting the attention of Chris Christie as he rolled down the sidewalk on his Segway i2 SE. The man was holding a heavy briefcase, so Christie could tell he was a genuine professional. “You look like a man of great taste. I think I’ve got an offer just for you.”

It was true; Chris Christie was a man of ­excellent­ taste. He especially loved the fine delicacies at Wegmans markets, often making several trips in one day. “What kind of offer?” Christie asked.

[Clipart 005] Funky Penguin

Funky Penguin waddled out onto the dance floor. Peopled cleared out of his way with each step of his webbed feet. They knew what was going to go down, and that they needed to give this bird some room. Funky Penguin wasn’t a handsome penguin, or a particularly smart or funny penguin, but baby, he could dance. If tonight was like any other night at Sal’s Discotek, then Funky Penguin was about to cut a mean rug except in the metaphorical sense because the dance floor wasn’t covered in carpet and he didn’t have any sharp objects.

The room came to a grinding halt, the people stopped boogieing and all eyes were fixed on Funky Penguin. He pointed a flipper at the band and the bass player slapped out a funky groove. Yeah. Ooooooh yeah. Funky Penguin bobbed his head to the beat. He was feeling this funky groove like a blind person reading Hamlet. He got to work.