INT. SUBURBAN KITCHEN – DAY
A man, average build, in a plaid jacket and balaclava sits on a foldout chair in middle of the room. Several locks of curly brown hair peek out from the headwear, accompanied by a bushy black mustache of questionable authenticity. He is BARTY RANDERSON. A boom box sits on the table next to him. He stares blankly at the camera for a moment before pressing the play button on the boom box. The Gremlins Theme plays.
Hiiiiiiiiii. My name is Barty Randerson, friendly protector of
conservative constitutional values in that little ol’ neighborhood
you’ve got there.