Name: A Curious Case of Slumber
Genre: R&B, Blues, Prog
During the late 70s, this band saw the successes of prog rock and were especially inspired by Rush’s opus 2112. So they decided to combine this storytelling-through-song method with the good old classic rhythms and slow jams and create the most chill-out, relaxing, thirty-minute long epic poems that music had ever conceived of.
Not a single person has ever been able to successfully complete any of their songs without falling asleep midway through.
Name: Plates of Plato
Genre: Prog Rock
Dan Thoron, Russell Miller, and Rodney “Coop” Fieldings started their band in 1973 while attending Brown University, bored while taking their freshman literature classes. From then on, they decided to study for their tests by adapting the epic poems and other stories they read into twenty-minute-long rock songs, and this eventually turned into their band’s shtick. They never got a record deal, though, so only a few hundred copies of their first two albums were ever in circulation.
Name: Thay Gypsy Up There
That Gypsy Up There is the name of artists Ghan Odelle and Roxy Rockatansky, who made electronic dance music (EDM) from 1993 to 2001. They made absolutely nothing notable at all, but their music played in the background of dance club scenes of over sixty movies and television shows.
Name: Everybody’s There
Genre: Classic Rock
Sylvester Reynolds and his girlfriend started a band in 1984 consisting mainly of power ballads, but sometimes of somber songs of mourning. They got married in 1989, and their band fizzled out. They mostly perform at weddings for their friends and their kids.
Name: One Black Chick
Genre Indie Folk
They’ve been around since 2010, jamming away with their acoustic guitars about life in the modern-day Southern Appalachians. The band has gone through many changes in lineup, with only Becca White remaining as the permanent lead singer, but no matter who is currently in the band, there has to be exactly one African-American female in their group, usually on drums, though occasionally as the co-lead singer, like when Hannah Kline headlined the group in October through December of 2014.
Name: 50 Messages from Thursday
Genre: Pop Punk
This band lasted exactly one year in the spotlight– 2005. Its first hit single, “Dying to Treat You”, hit number 34 on the charts, and was featured in the end credits to the modern-day “Streetcar Named Desire” remake. But nobody was ever able to find out the names of any of the band’s members, and their first album, “Touched and Tortured”, was available only through Myspace. Their Wikipedia page has gone untouched since 2010.
Name: Cunnilingus Fury
Genre: Swedish Folk Metal
Their lyrics are nigh incomprehensible over the music and they have only sold six copies of their albums on bandcamp.com since 2004 but they keep releasing an album once every three months anyway. They are known in the folk metal scene mostly for their song “Aryan Bar Mitzvah” from their album “How Hard Do I Need to Fuck!” in 2009. Despite being Swedish Folk Metal, they are all Americans.