[Clipart] Alien 0

Frederick Fred O, owner of the company that owns the company that owns the planet that holds the company that produces a specific frog-shaped chocolate candy, locked his home’s door for the night and sighed. The beings his company had placed on the planet in preparation for the chocolate frog production were starting to become a bit too sentient. They realized, like many others, that the chocolate frogs some of them were eating were actually rather bad tasting and overpriced. This was Frederick Fred O’s responsibility to take care of.

[Clipart] American Bartender

You’ve heard of American Beauty. You’ve heard of American Psycho. You’ve heard of American Beauty/American Psycho. Now get ready for American Bartender!

He’s the real deal: a muscular hunk of man that will serve you the liquid part of a meal. Watch him now in one of nearly infinite locations in fifty states and several territories!*

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] The Brave Little Toaster

“Plug into the Adventure!” screams the cover art of this movie. “Not on your life!” I scream back, sobbing into my pillow at night, remembering the five minutes of this film I was awake for at six years old.

[Clipart] Dripping Hair

Sheila had problems. She was a fluid girl living in a world full of solid people. Usually, she fluctuated between gelatinous and watery depending on her stress level.

Her hair, much like the expectations people had of her success in life, was dripping down to the floor and seeping through the cracks in the wood. Some was in the basement.

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] Legally Blonde

Elle Woods, sorority president, is in love with a man. Or, well, she was.Her boyfriend broke up with her in a public setting to be with someone else. This is what I know.

[Movies We Haven’t Watched] The Devil Wears Gucci

Anne Hathaway, now much more fashionable and worldly than in the last movie where Anne hathaway works for a fashion company, has a new job with a new awful and manipulative boss. She also still has her boyfriend she may or may not have had/gotten during The Devil Wears Prada.

Welcome – April 25th

This week at HCAD, I promise there will be stories. That’s our job: giving you stories.

Last week at HCAD, there were some other stories. That’s our job: giving you stories.

Here are some of the stories you have access to which were published last week at HCAD:

• Is she a spy? Is she an assassin? Is she a 1960s pop reference? I know, and you can find out.
• Cyberbullying: George W. Bush and Saddam Hussein edition
• He’s a frog. He’s the fifth of his kind. He doesn’t want to be here.
• This is quite honestly the best Homestuck meta I’ve ever read and I can’t think of a funny summary.

All you need to know before you subscribe to HCAD is that we will always be here, waiting. It’s a good place to call home.

[Clipart] Frog Frog4

Frog: Frog4 was actually the fifth in his lineage. His father was not given a number next to his name. Frog: Frog1 was Frog: Frog4’s eldest sibling.

Frog: Frog was the first of his kind, a beauty of a specimen. His intelligence knew no bounds. The genetically enhanced frogs that came after him were equally smart, but had personalities that clashed with what the researchers wanted. After they, the test tube tadpoles, had hatched in the lab it was obvious that their creator would not be able to grow the world conquering amphibian army that she desired. Before reaching four weeks old, the new spawn of a thousand frogs stopped her schemes.

[Clipart] Itsy Bitsy Polka

She was afraid to come out of the locker. She was afraid that somebody would see. She was afraid to come out of the locker. She was afraid…

She was afraid.

[Clipart] Pig Piggie

Pig Piggie, the sow on McGregor’s farm, was happy in her life. Sure, she had had some ups and downs. Once, she had seen a little bit too much through the slats in the fence between her and the slaughteryard. For almost a week she squealed and screamed every time a human came near. Since then, she always stayed on the other side of the farmyard she was penned into. She never had to think about it if she didn’t want to even if it was always on the back of her mind.