Dear Bernie,

Dear Bernie,

You are the guiding light, a shining beacon of logic singing out to the sane through the smog of confusion. Your love flows through me as it flows through the hearts of all Americans, straight and gay, black and white, liberal and fascist. I feel it, Bernie. Those around me? They don’t understand you. They don’t hear your plight. They listen, but they don’t hear what I do. I hear your song and it fills me with joy. With passion. With lust. I need you, Bernie. I am but an insignificant flea on the back of the great best of burden that is you, Bernie, who plows the fields of America and sows the seeds of liberty that will be reaped by future generations. I am nothing before you, but you are my soul. Every waking thought is filled with the velvety sound of your voice and the soft folds of your face, your scars from decades of fighting for the disenfranchised on the battlefield of Washington. Where you walk, I will follow. Where you speak, I will listen. As long as you continue to fight, I will pick up my sword and charge headlong into battle for your glory. I shudder to think of what would happen if you… no, that is not even a possibility. To contemplate defeat is to welcome it into our folds, and that we cannot afford. We cannot lose this fight, for it is the will of the people. You will emerge victorious. The weak must fear the stong and Clinton will tremble at your feet.

May the gods smile upon you,
Aiden Thompson, Age 17

Overwing Part 1

Overwing Part 1

This the first part of a silly story idea that was suggested to me about a superhero who is fused with a fighter jet. I wrote this a while ago (a LONG while ago) and didn’t really do much with it, but I’m thinking of revisiting it in order to force myself to write something long. So hey, here you go, I guess.

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Scrapped Election Story

Scrapped Election Story

I didn’t write anything new this weekend, but what I’m giving you here is a dive into the behind the scenes. The seedy underbelly of HCAD, populated by all of the stories too shocking, too vile, and (more often than not) too shitty to see the light of day… until now. This was a story that I started writing back during the dark ages of the 2016 election, back when the Republican field still numbered in the double digits. I don’t even remember exactly what I was ultimately going for, but it was something about Ron Paul/Rand Paul fans arguing in the style of movie or video game fans on a forum and, likewise, was formatted like a forum post. I think it was a decent idea, but I ultimately scrapped it for something else equally terrible (Barty Randerson, maybe? I don’t remember the timeline very well.) Well, either way, enjoy, I guess.

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Not a Clipart

Not a Clipart

Hey, this isn’t a clipart, but it is certainly a thing for you to read. I am just coming off of a very hectic finals week, even more hectic than usual as a result of me being a moron and taking extra classes, so I didn’t have very much time to write HCAD stuff. I did, however, write things for my creative writing class, so I figure sharing that is better than nothing. This was a (meh) thing that I wrote for an assignment where we had to take an adage or saying and adapt it into a full short story. Here is “Jack of All Trades.”

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Welcome to week 2 of the All New, All Different HCAD.

We’ve been doing a little better actually keeping up with our schedule if you haven’t noticed, but we promise to still deliver the seat of your pants, impromptu style that comes from our signature brand of procrastinating until the last possible moment. So we’re still writing stuff and still drowning in other obligations, just how we like it.

We’re keeping up with the same schedule that we introduced last week, as we enjoy having free time and you people don’t deserve any more than we’re giving you. Like last week, this week looks a little something… like-a this…

Thanks for reading, pal(s). Be sure to go tell your friend(s) about all the wonderful work we’re doing here so we can make enough money to feed our starving families.

 

Sound! Valentine

Sound! Valentine

Foreword: This is my first fan fiction based on the (fantastic) anime series Sound! Euphonium. It’s a special Valentine’s Day story and I hope you enjoy it if you’ve seen the series before. If you haven’t, you need to go do that right now. Hurry. I’m still waiting right here for you.

Sound! Valentine

Thedude3445

 

Kumiko stared at the calendar with intensity. She wanted the day to disappear from the calendar and explode into a million tiny pieces. But there on that piece of paper it stayed.

“This sucks,” she said. “Today is going to suck.”

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Top Five Posts in HCAD’s First Five Months

Top Five Posts in HCAD’s First Five Months

Today is the fifth month anniversary of Home Clipart Animal Deer. It seems like it’s been forever, but it hasn’t even been half a year yet. Hmm, weird.

Well, considering we’ve updated almost every single day in the past five months (we have missed about six of them), we’ve racked up quite the impressive backlog of posts. Not all of them are created equally, though, at least in the eyes of readers. So what are the Top Five posts we’ve gotten so far?

(Read on so you can see them!)

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Moonglasses Magazine – First Issue

Moonglasses Magazine – First Issue

Feb-Cover

A few compatriots of mine have released the first issue of Moonglasses Magazine, a literary magazine that features the best in funny, strange, and experimental writing (much like HCAD itself). I really recommend you read it, because all the pieces are great.

 

Read the new issue of Moonglasses Magazine here!