Tesla and Cujo, the two frogs who lived in the house on the bump on the branch on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea, were fighting again. This wasn’t their normal kind of fight though. No, this time they would maybe even get a divorce.
Tesla and Cujo had recently been to a comics convention, where Tesla had drifted off to look at anime. Cujo was bewildered by Tesla’s fascination, but it was okay. Cujo could stand to see the buildup of books and DVDs about magical girls and angels and men with large hands. Exposure to new languages and reading was good for people. Learning a language increased a person’s ability to understand and interact with the world around them. No matter what a person read, it was supposed to increase their literacy level. This was good. It was good that Tesla had this new interest.
Cujo just had to wait.
The house on the bump on the branch on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea slowly filled up with books, DVDs, action figures, and keychains of teenage human girls. The final straw came when a body pillow arrived in the mail. Cujo couldn’t take it anymore. Tesla had to stop.
The body pillow was as large as a full grown human. It had on it a picture of a teenage girl with spiky blue pigtails that fell down to her waist. The girl was wearing a large set of headphones and looked like a pop star. The body pillow was as large as a full grown human.
Tesla and Cujo were frogs.
The body pillow wouldn’t even fit in their house.
Cujo had tried to be supportive of Tesla’s obsession up until now. He really had. His husband, lord give him strength, was trying his patience. So Cujo went to talk to Tesla.
Cujo hopped the length of the body pillow until he got to the other end. There Tesla was, hopping and bouncing around at his new body pillow’s feet. They lived underwater. Cujo was worried about mold. Their DVD player worked fine since they had a workaround for electricity, but “waterlogged pillows” had never been a problem that the frog community needed to solve.
Frogs don’t use pillows.
Cujo left for a moment to go into the house on the bump on the branch on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea and grab a knife from the kitchen in the house on the bump on the branch on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. He took the knife back outside to do what he knew he needed to do.
He stabbed the body pillow until it was torn to shreds.
Tesla cried like the baby he was for five whole minutes.
And then they fought.
Tesla didn’t know Cujo had a knife, though. During Tesla’s diatribe about “destruction of private property” and “murder” and “You could have told me you weren’t into it” Cujo stabbed Tesla through his little froggy heart.
And that is why there is now a frog with a tale in the house on the bump on the branch on the hole in the bottom of the sea.