[Clipart 054] MRIs That Make You Go Hmmm…

[Clipart 054] MRIs That Make You Go Hmmm…


“Hmmm…” I went, seeing the MRI. “Hmmm….”

“This does… not look like something I entirely understand.”

I didn’t entirely understand the MRI, and as such, I went “Hmm…”

Maybe there was someone else who could understand and tell me what these results actually meant? I ventured to assume that there was, so I left the lab and went to find another doctor.

“Is there another doctor in the house?” I asked around. All the nurses I found shook their heads. It looked like I was somewhat alone at the moment. That was not fortunate.

“Maybe I can find one if I look in the women’s bathroom,” I said to myself. I went into the women’s bathroom and, much to my surprise, the women in there did not look at me with much kindness. It was somewhat scornful, I had to admit to myself.

“Do any of you know where I could find a doctor?” I asked them.

“You are a doctor,” one of them said.

“Ah, that is correct,” I said. “But I am in need of someone that can help me out with an MRI… Hmmm….”

One of the toilet stalls flushed, and out came a grey-haired lady in high-heels. “I am a doctor,” she said. “I can help you out with an MRI.”

“Hmmm…” I thought it was a very generous gesture and it could generate the understanding that I currently lacked. “Alright. Let’s go.”

“Let me wash my hands first.” She washed her hands. “Alright. Let’s go.”

We went back to the lab and I showed her the MRI.

“Hmmm….” she went.

“Hmmm…” I went. “Do you see why I don’t understand it?”

“I do understand why you don’t understand it,” she said. “This does not look aesthetically pleasing at all but it also does not look entirely positive or negative. It is hard to read from this MRI what exactly is going on.”


It was certainly a perplexing situation. It was not one that I understood, and I do not know if this doctor knew, either.

“Doctor,” I asked. “What is your specialty? Do you think this MRI is within your specialty to analyze more closely?”

“I am a doctor in Linguistics,” she said. “I can understand the brain patterns of speech. However, I cannot understand the brain patterns of brains.”

“That is unfortunate,” I said. “Maybe I should find another doctor.”

“I do not think you need to do that,” she said. “I think it would be better to cross-examine this MRI with a different MRI. That is what linguists do when comparing the accents of different cultures and regions. Cross-examination, doctor.”

“Hmmm… That would make a lot of sense, doctor,” I said. “I think I will try it.”

I tried it.

I found the doctor a while later and told her that I found the results that I was looking for in regards to the analysis of this MRI. “Hmm… I have found the results I was looking for in regards to the analysis of this MRI,” I said.

“Hmmm…” she went.

“Yes. It looks like I have brain cancer,” I said.

“Very unfortunate,” she said.

“Indeed,” I said. “Thank you for your help, doctor.”

“Any time, doctor,” she said. She left the lab.

I stayed in the lab and continued to look at the MRI. “Hmmm…”

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