[Animes We Haven’t Seen] The Perfectly Regular at Magic High School – Chapter 3

[Animes We Haven’t Seen] The Perfectly Regular at Magic High School – Chapter 3

Chapter 3


Max, Gary, and Mari stood in front of Principal Merlin’s desk, hands at their sides, bowing incessantly. Principal Merlin let it happen for two or three minutes before he slammed his fist on the desk and stood up himself.

“I want the three of you to tell me what happened today during school,” Principal Merlin said, keeping his voice low and relatively calm. “Please, one at a time. I would very much like to hear your explanation.”

Max raised his hand. “Uh, I think there’s a very rational explanation for all of this…”

“I don’t care about rationality,” Principal Merlin said. “I want answers, and I don’t think you will give them to me.” He pointed at Gary. “You. You are known as the ‘Irregular’, which should indicate that you know more about the situation than the others. I want your version of the events.”

Gary smirked. “You want my version of the day? Well then, I’ll give them to you. Because they’re the right version of events.”

“Do tell.”

And so he did:


Gary was walking down the hall one Tuesday morning, when he bumped into a short girl with long, flowing black hair. He instantly recognized who she was, and his mouth started to water as a reflex.

“Mary,” he said.

“Gary,” she said.

“It’s been a while,” he said.

“It certainly has,” she said.

They passionately embraced in a very tight hug. Gary and Mary were finally together again. The Suzuki family was reunited, after almost a year apart.

“But… why are you here at Magic High School?” Gary asked. “You’re still in your third year of middle school!”

“Well,” Mary began. “I skipped a grade. And now I’m here with you, Onii-chan.”

“That’s…” Gary paused. “That’s so amazing. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

Gary charged at Mary to embrace her with all the energies he had at his disposal, but then–

“GARY! IT’S TIME FOR A REMATCH!” Mari stood there, magical flaming sword drawn, pointing at Gary. Her twintails were also on fire and were floating in midair, as if the wind had levitated them from their sitting positions.

Gary pointed at his sister. “Can’t you see, I’m busy with some perfectly regular things right now?”

“…” Mary lowered her sword for a moment. And then she raised it back into the air. “My time will not be wasted by you! It will be well-served, with a side of payback and restored honor as the pre-dessert course!” She charged at him and began swinging wildly.

At this point, Gary had no choice but to fall into fighting. He blocked the sword swings with his magical force field abilities, but he did not return any blows, not yet. He had to make sure that Mary had cleared the premises so that he could fight without risking anything happening to her. Mary was strong, smart, and good at everything she did, but she was no match for the powers that Gary was about to unleash.

Gary decided to end this battle at once. He sent out a blast of magical energy, known by his peers as a magi-blast, and pummeled Mari into the wall. She was knocked unconscious. He walked up to her and picked her up, setting her back on her feet.

“There you go,” he said. “It’s all good.”

She seemed a little dizzy– And then she roundhouse kicked Gary into the wall, exactly where he had slammed Mari. “IT’S NEVER ALL GOOD!”

Their fight continued for the next three hours, and by the end, the hallways were completely destroyed.


“That all seems completely plausible,” said Principal Merlin. “And very irregular.”

“Well, it’s not!” Mari said. “That isn’t what happened at all.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well, I’ll tell you now, and then you’ll believe me.”

Mari stared at Gary and began to tell her tale:


Mari was minding her own business, mostly because there wasn’t too much business she needed to mind this day. She felt great; she was making good grades, her girlfriend was going to take her out on a really nice date this weekend, and she got a great night of sleep. Sure, she was still only second in the class because of Gary Suzuki, but with how many extracurricular activities she was currently in, she was certain to get into some of the best Magic Colleges around, while Gary was going to be lucky to get into Tokyo Magic University, let alone anything truly prestigious.

And then that was when Mari saw Gary. He was standing next to a girl with the same sleek black hair and sharp face as him, only a head shorter. Gary noticed Mari and charged at him, seemingly with all the energies he could muster. He pulled out his magi-gun and pointed it right at Mari’s head.

“Is… Is this some sort of prank?” Mari asked.

“No.” Gary laughed into the air, putting his free hand into his hair. “You don’t get it, do you!? I’m about to take you out, so that I can permanently remain the top student in our class!”

“I don’t think so.” Mari kicked Gary’s magi-gun into the air, and, using her magic spells, summoned a magical flaming sword to combat him with. “If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight that I’ll give you, no matter how reluctant I am to give much of anything to you. You should be lucky I am in such a good mood.”

“AAAAAAA!!!!” Gary caught his magi-gun and began firing off wildly. It was kind of insane. Mari could barely block every shot– though, of course, she did block every shot.

Their fight continued for the next three hours, and by the end, the hallways were completely destroyed.


“Uh, well then.” Principal Merlin rubbed his bearded chin. “I… will discuss this with you later. You’re dismissed for now.” The three of them stood up to leave. “Oh, not you, Mr. Rakuyama. I need you for a moment.” Max sat back down, and they waited for Mari and Gary to leave.

“What, exactly, is the rational explanation for all this?” Principal Merlin asked.

“Uhh… It’s really simple, honestly.”

“Then I want to know.”

Max took a breath, and gave his version of the story:


Max was late for school again! He hadn’t even been able to finish his toast before he got there, because he had to dart out of his home at top speeds!

But he was finally there, now… Whew… He probably should have taken the magi-train but he thought it’d be faster to run, since it was only two stops away. He was wrong about that thought.

He entered the school and started towards his classroom, when he saw a very strange sight. Gary was kissing some girl! And it wasn’t just any kissing, either. They were all into it, right in the middle of the hallway. This seemed completely out of place in the middle of a Japanese high school, even Magic High School where everything was slightly less strict than a normal Japanese high school because of the vague cultural differences.

“Hey, Gary!” Max shouted. Gary pulled away quickly, leaving the other girl to her own devices. Gary walked up to Max.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Who was that there? Do you have a girlfriend?” Max asked.

“That was my sister Mary. I haven’t seen her in ages, so I was greeting her.”

“Oh.” It… must have been an Osaka thing, Max guessed. Very irregular indeed.

“Now, if that’s all,” Gary began. “I guess I will be on my way to class, since I need to get on my activities for the day to once again prove that I am the best student in the entire school.” He turned around, walking away from Max and–

Gary bumped into Mari, hitting her on the forehead and knocking them both to the floor. They both stood up at once, glaring at each other.

“Why’d you do that?!” Mari shouted.

“Me? That was you!” Gary shouted in return.

“You need to watch where you’re going!”

Mari and Gary pulled out their weapons in tandem and began fighting. Gary’s sister was hit by a stray blast and knocked to the floor.

Their fight continued for the next three hours, and by the end, the hallways were completely destroyed.


“Sounds fake,” Principal Merlin said.

“Well, even if it’s fake, it’s the fake that I accept as real,” Max said. “We may never know who’s right, but at least we were all able to confess what we believe, right?”

“I guess so. Now get out of here. Scram.”

Max left the office.

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