[Election ‘016 51] Eve of Iowa

Ted Cruz

Ted got out a pack of crayons and set them on the table next to a large piece of construction paper. He opened the pack and sniffed that crayon-y smell fresh out of the box. He took out the macaroni-and-cheese one and began to draw a map of Iowa.

Drawing this map of Iowa and then dividing it into its ninety-nine counties was the only way he could unwind and relax tonight. It helped him take his mind off the stress and put his energies into something creative and powerful and beautiful and intuitive.

He just wished that President Reagan could see him now. His drawing was sure to look great and represent the heart of America, but he wanted more than anything for Reagan to be proud of him,

One day, though, he would make the man happy, he thought as he marked a giant green X over Des Moines.

Update on my computer science homework

Hope my instructor gives me extra credit for being fuckin’ woke

Neon Homes Take

[Clipart 048] Nervous Worm

This is a guest post by a friend currently known only as Trish:

It’s the warm-up to the greatest match of the century. Nothing much, just a little show-off game to let the people of Earth know what the new toughest boxer in the galaxy is made of. He is approximately twenty feet long, and he is a worm. His mouth guards are a sight in and of themselves, and the mouth-flesh around them gleams. Taut…tough…veiny. Confident. He doesn’t need boxing gloves to be a champion. And tonight, he’s going to show the universe his personalized retort to the age-old insult “you fight like a worm.”

On one end, Mr. Tommy “The Machine” Gunn swaggers in and pounds his gloves together. From the visiting side wriggles Wormy “The World War” Too, head hanging low with dark confidence. The man behind the worm – rather, the terrifying mouse-man hybrid given new life in some offshoot Rocky sequel – is done toweling off the approximate area wherein the worm’s arms and shoulders would theoretically be.

[Clipart 047] Spooky Swami

 

“Step up to my booth, and make sure that you are ready for your life to be changed in a way that you may either find extremely beneficial, or extremely malicious. I do not know which, and I will not know until your fortune is read.”

They stepped up to Spooky Swami’s booth and sat down in a circle around the table. Spooky Swami centered himself so he could face all three of them at once, and then put his hands on the crystal ball in the middle of the table.

Subscribe Now, Yo

My sources tell me that having a subscription button (as HCAD has on the sidebar) is like, an okay thing, but you should never underestimate the power of actually asking. So I guess I’ll do this: Anyone wanna subscribe to Home Clipart Animal Deer’s posts? It’s really fun and easy and you’ll be able to read all the coolest posts by the HCAD crew.

(Also, leaving feedback on our site is 100% the best thing you can do; we have been operating for about five months blind and have little to go off of in terms of what kind of content people like, dislike, etc. and it’d be good to know that stuff.)

[Election ‘016 050] Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th, 2016 (Part Two)

(Continued from Part One)

[Election ‘016 049] Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th 2016 (Part One)

Mitt Romney’s Dream at 2:30 AM on January 27th, 2016

by Thedude3445

Foreword: All Primary maps were generated using a cool tool from RealClearPolitics. Check it out here. You may have to open the maps in a different tab to view them in full-size.

 

1.

January 27th, 2016

Mitt Romney laid over in his bed and his face hitt Ann’s back. It woke him up, his eyes jolting open. His vision was blurry and his mind was spinning from whatever he was dreaming about.

He then felt the warmth of his blanket and of Ann’s back. He put his arm around her, put his head back against his pillow, and closed his eyes.

It was a very long, cold night, and Mitt’s mind cleared into an icy Iowan landscape, one that he was so familiar of, for all those years before…

 

2.

January 29th, 2016

Sean Hannity turned to Mitt in that same-as-always spin and smiled. “So here on the show today we have a very special guest coming to talk to us. It’s former Massachusetts Governor and Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney. Mitt, how are you today?”

Good Band Names — Running Out of Tim

Name: Running Out of Tim

Genre: Drunken Rock

Running Out of Tim was created by Tim Lancaster and his two friends who decided they would start a garage band, but only perform when intoxicated. Their music is not very high-quality, to say the least, but they became a viral sensation in 2007, becoming one of the first real break-out groups to rise up from Youtube. Their highest-rated video, “Everything a Disaste”, has over 80,500,000 views.

[Clipart 046] Angry Guy with Axe

 

Okay, so, like, here’s a really bad situation that you’re currently in. It’s possibly the worst one in your entire life. Almost certainly, to be honest. There’s an angry guy standing right in front of you, holding an axe over your head, apparently ready to swing down and lodge the weapon in your head, probably killing you in seconds depending on the weapon’s sharpness.