The students of Doctor Smart Guy’s Academy for Talented Millennials jogged, flew, and otherwise exercised their bodies and powers around the school grounds, enjoying the clear and brisk December morning. A pair of superpowered Metamorphics were sparring with each other, smacking garbage cans and planks of wood against their heads. A shapeshifter was sitting under the bleachers, cloaked and alone, with a stack of books across her lap. A flash of fire streaked across the sky and landed on the main law, the flames dying down to reveal the shape of a lean young man no older than 19. The young man walked toward the academy, limp wrists flopping and hips swishing with each step. He opened the both sides of the double doors at the main entrance and threw his hands in the air.
“Good moooooooorning, bitchessssss!” he shouted in a high pitched trill, hissing the last syllable through closed teeth. The loitering students stopped, waving at him and hollering compliments about his brightly colored or telling him to ‘work it’.
“Hey, Flame Boy? Can I have a word with you?” Psych Girl whispered from the open doorway of one of the chemistry labs.
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Wassup, girl?! How you doin’?” Flame Boy sashayed over to her and stood there with his hands on his hips. Psych Girl stared at him grimly. “Honey, why you so angry? You need some girl talk?”
“Flame Boy… I know…”
“Ha, you know what? You know that outfit looks like a you fell in a TJ Maxx clearance bin?”
“I know you’re straight.”
Flame Boy slipped past Psych Girl and slammed the door.
“Ha… uhm… whatchu mean, biiiiiitch????”
“Flame Boy… I… I didn’t mean to… I was just poking around up there, trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas and…”
“… and?”
“I… you were thinking about the good pussy.”
“No I wasn’t!” Flame Boy growled. “I-I mean bitch you craaaaaaazy! Girls are all gross! I’m, like, all about dicks and stuff! Me and Monumentus went out for margaritas last night and-”
“James, you can’t hide your true feelings from me, I’m a psychic. Please, just let me help you.”
“I don’t want your fucking help!” Flame Boy combusted, activating the sprinkler system and quickly dousing his flames. He slunk down against a desk and plopped on the puddle covered floor. “I… I don’t want it…”
Psych Girl put her arm around Flame Boy’s shoulder and held him close. “James, it’s okay. People will love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter who you’re attracted to as long as you’re you.”
“That’s just it. They don’t love James, they love Flame Boy! They love when I sing show tunes and say bitch all the time and talk about guys’ butts, but… but I don’t love that. I… I love crushing the puss! Oh god, I just wanna crush that puss so bad!” Flame Boy dug his head into Psych Girl’s shoulder and bawled. She shoved him away and grabbed him by the arms.
“James! Look at me! Don’t you ever let anyone else tell you who you do or don’t love, because I’m the only one who knows who you do or don’t love! Only you, and of course me, know the real James is. If you look deep, deep down inside of you, you’ll find the truth. You can’t hide from the truth any more. I won’t rest until you have confronted your true self and come to terms with who you really are, whether you like it or not. You know what the truth is… you wanna crush that puss like it’s a bucket full of grapes and you work at a winery!”
“I-I… I just want people to-”
“You wanna pound that shit out like it’s a dent in your car door!”
“I-I wanna-”
“You wanna eat it like you’re a starving refugee who was just tossed half of a sandwich!”
“I… I love pussy!” Flame Boy ignited himself and leaped out the window.
He soared into the heavens, a trail of flame lingering in his wake. As he flew through the air, his paths crossed, creating intricate intersecting lines of twinkling flame. With each pass, the lines began to form a message. Across the sky, in crackling, mile high letters, read the sentence, “Gimmie some of that good pussy.” Flame Boy disappeared into the horizon, a twinkling star, growing fainter with each passing moment, off to discover a brave new world full of the puss that he never knew he wanted.
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