Skunk brought a flower over to Human, and looked up at her. “Do you want this?” he asked Human, hoping desperately for a requited affection from Human, which would lead to a relationship where they would be married, then have two-point-five human-skunk hybrid children, and then grow old together and die together while holding hands on their rocking chairs out on the porch.
“Who are you?” Human asked.
“I am Skunk,” said Skunk. “I think I am in love with you.”
Human took a few steps back. She wasn’t sure what to say. This Skunk seemed a little too forward with his advances, seeing as though they had just met five seconds earlier. “I think that is very sweet,” said Human. “But I think I would like to get to know you before we get married.”
“Would you accept this flower as a token of greeting, then?” asked Skunk, who was very much willing to let things go over in a slow and steady manner before they got married, had two-point-five skunk-human hybrid children, and all that other stuff. “I would appreciate it,” he added.
“Ah…” Human hesitated. What if Skunk was actually a bad guy? Would accepting this flower do nothing but encourage him to act on his badness? “I will take it,” she said, disregarding her worries. Skunk gave Human the flower and she put it in her hair.
“Do you think we should go on a date?” Skunk asked.
“Now, what did I say about rushing things?” asked Human in return.
“That it should not be done…”
“Yes, and I feel as though our date should not be for a little while,” Human said.
“That is fair enough for me. Do you want to see a movie sometime soon then, as a perfectly platonic gesture of friendship?”
“I would certainly love to!” exclaimed Human.
They went to the movie, and they loved it. It was Mad Max: Fury Road, and it was an amazing movie.
“I really loved that,” Skunk said.
“Yes, me too.”
“We will see it again on our first date, I believe. Am I correct?” Skunk looked up at Human, flashing his prettiest eyes. The flower was still in her hair, despite it having rotted away two weeks prior. Human nodded and flashed to him her prettiest teeth. She tried to hide her bottom row because some of those teeth were crooked.
So on their first date, they saw Mad Max: Fury Road once again, and it was even better the second time, with its brilliant practical effects and trio of excellently-crafted protagonists.
“Will you marry me?” Skunk asked as the credits rolled. He presented another flower instead of a ring.
“I believe that I will, in fact, marry you!” Human said.
They were hitched three weeks later, with George Miller officiating the wedding.
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