Crowdfund Your Country!
America – A Public Works Fund by President Larry Lessig
-Help us out with your vote, on Whitehouse.gov Greenlight!
-What is America?
Well, America is a really cool country. It has a population of over 300,000,000, and it’s been around for nearly 250 years! Wow! You’ve probably heard it; it used to be very popular. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally coming back, and it’ll be better than ever.
I’m Larry Lessig, and I’m a former Harvard law professor. But right now, I’m President of the United States. Of America. Yeah? Yeah. I believe in America, and that it’s going to have a great many years ahead of it.
America is great. Lately it’s got a lot of debt, though. And debt is keeping us from doing lots of cool stuff. America has a lot of features but it won’t be able to reach its full potential when it owes so much money; it would have to be released in early beta and be in Early Access development for years before it could finally show its true glory.
And that’s where you come in.
-What Can I Do?
You can help make America great again! (But not in that way, ew.) Pledge to our campaign so that we can improve America’s public transportation, roads, monuments, and keep its national parks running. It’ll be great for America to get all these cool things, and you helping to make it happen would be, quite frankly, swell.
We’re trying to raise $10 million– $3 million of that will go to crowdfunding services and taxes and all that, so we’ll be left with $7 million to do with whatever we please. Isn’t that exciting?
And YOU get to decide what we use it on? Got a cool idea to improve the economy? Put it in the comments box. Found a place where the road needs fixing? Put it in the comments box. Got a startup tech company that will change the way we use our phones? You know what to do.
As often happens, and we hope happens here, projects get more money than they’re asking for. If America gets overfunded, then we have some stretch goals in mind to keep you guys excited:
$10,000,000 – The project is funded, though we will only be supporting the continental states.
$12,000,000 – Hawaii and Alaska are added to the project!
$13,333,333 – We build the world’s largest house of cards, made entirely of red threes.
$15,000,000 – Statue of Liberty Cleaning Day! We’ll scrub her up and make her shiny and bronze again.
$25,000,000 – Super PACs will be banned forever, and so will Gerrymandering, probably.
$28,000,000 – Everyone in America gets a free $100 check. Booyeah. #FreeMoneyForTheMasses
$39,000,000 – Wall Street gets renamed Our Street, because it’s ours. Also, all money raised during the reopening for Our Street ceremony will go to charity.
$45,000,000 – Everyone in America gets another $100 check. #FreeMoneyForTheSoul
$50,000,000 – ??? It’s a surprise!
$62,000,000 – All 45 Presidents will get their faces on Mount Rushmore.
$85,000,000 – America will receive Mac and Linux support.
$100,000,000 – ??? More to come once we get high enough.
-Risks and Challenges
As President of the United States of America, I know how to operate a country. I’ve been doing it for a month already, and we’re making a lot of good progress. But as anyone knows, there’s also a lot of risks and challenges. If nuclear war broke out between India and Pakistan next month, we probably wouldn’t be able to use this campaign money to do all this stuff, because there would be more important things to deal with. Also, I’ll be resigning from office after this crowdfunding campaign is over, so it will be up to Vice President Biden to fulfill all the funding goals.
-Frequently Asked Questions
“Why are you doing this?” To help America, of course.
“International Shipping?” For international backers, please raise your pledges by $25 to cover shipping and customs.
“Wii U Port?” We will see if the initial launch works, and if it does, we may consider other systems.