Once live creature. Creature name Monster. Monster happy now. Used not be happy. Monster used be sad. Monster walk through village. Villager run and scream away from Monster. Make Monster sad. Why don’t like Monster? Monster cool guy. Monster listens to rap. Monster vape and ride longboard. Monster wear baseball cap at. slight angle. Villager still not want hang out. Villager bunch of dumb asshole. Monster don’t need asshole villager.
“Oh god, please!” shout asshole villager. “I have a family!”
“Oh, look at asshole villager!” Monster (me) retort. “Brag about have family! Asshole villager not better than Monster!”
“Everyone think they better than Monster!” Monster really pissed. “Why everyone big asshole?! Nobody understand Monster but Monster!”
Monster storm off and go back to cave. He go YouTube and listen Linkin Park. This Monsters kind music. Music dark and edgy, just like Monster. Also My Chemical Romance and Pierce Veil. Parents don’t like when Monster listen loud music, but Monster do anyway because fuck parents. Monster sat and cry and and smoke cigarettes and then call up Judy. Judy understand pain and suffering, unlike parents.
“Hey Judy, what up with Judy?” Monster said into grey talk banana.
“Nothing much, just hating my parents and listening to Linkin Park.”
“Oh, Monster too. Judy ever think how parents are shit and don’t understand?”
“Yeah. Like, parents are really shitty and stuff.”
“Yeah, parents shitty. Hey, Judy want hang out? It like shitty or whatever but Judy can hang out if Judy want do something dumb or whatever.”
“Yeah, hanging out is shitty but whatever. Not like I have anything better to do.”
“Want see movie?”
“Yeah, whatever. See ya.” Judy hung up talk banana and went to movie. Monster hung up talk banana and went to movie. Judy at movie when Monster go movie.
“All movies so shitty. Which one least bad?” Monster ask.
“Like, my dad keeps talking about that new Michael Bay movie. Something about Hillary Clinton? Hillary Clinton is, like, a fucking conformist or whatever.”
“Yeah, Clinton worst. Let see that or whatever.”
Monster and Judy bought ticket to movie and sat down in seat in front of movie. Movie happened in front of Monster and Judy. Monster thought movie be dumb, mindless action, underdeveloped character, and gratuitous use racial stereotypes. What Monster got was thought provoking expose on one of greatest tragedy in American History.
That’s when Monster decide there more Monster can do than be sad and mopey all time. Monster can go join fight impeach former Secretary State Hillary Clinton for heinous acts she commit in Libya with boyfriend Ben Ghazi. That why Monster run for Republican nomination in 2016 election.