Jim Gilmore’s Reality
You can’t do this, they tell me. You’re too weak, they tell me. Do like Bob Ehrlich and get the heck out of there, they say. But I don’t listen. I am going to be the next President of the United States, and the only thing stopping me is my own will.
Sounds Like Bliss
Genre: Fem Punk
It was 2002 when Stacy Livingston, Tracey Wright, and Alysha Tyler met in a chemistry class and realized they wanted to fight the system together, and did so through three guitars, three vocalists, and no drums. They played on and off around local venues until the 2008 Democratic Primaries broke them up.
Blowtop was angry as fuck. And you know what? He had every right to be. Because seriously, fuck everything. Fuck the schools, fuck the government, fuck his job, fuck his life. Nobody got a damn fucking thing done around here but him, and he barely did that himself.
Agent of Chaos
Rick Santorum, wearing an azure sweater-vest, sat down on his pyrite throne, clasped his hands together, and grinned. There was nothing the world could do to stop him from having the best day he would ever have, and everything about that made him giddy. As he picked up a slice of apple pie with his hands and shoved it into his mouth, he felt like doing nothing more than laughing. He didn’t, of course, because then he would have choked, but it took a great effort to avoid cackling. Once he swallowed the pie, he wiped his mouth with an American flag-patterned handkerchief and turned on the television in front of him.
On the screen was a local news station, interviewing the common people. Rick chortled at those with no influence over anyone’s lives but their own, or maybe their families if they were lucky. He couldn’t comprehend what the anchor was actually saying in his sing-songy newscaster inflection, but it didn’t matter to Rick. Rather, it was an opportunity for madness that had just presented itself, and he would do no less than seize it like the police would a kilogram of crack cocaine in the trunk of the Minority Whip’s car (AKA the Minority Whip).
Here’s to another week on Home Clipart Animal Deer, the only website where you can read stupid stories about clipart and presidential candidates all in the same place. Well, for now at least, until some other site probably steals all our cool ideas.
This week, Kenny “Kenye West” “MrVonAwesometon” “Doesn’t Have A Consistent Internet Username” Herndon will be absent, so I will be publishing every single post! Thedude3445 Week shall be henceforth known as… Theweek3445.
Theweek3445 means the second Movie Club article will be done by me. And for this week, I pick the movie Annie Hall, which you can watch on Netflix. So watch it, read the article on Friday, and argue with me about it in the comments section.
Also, while this is only tentative at the moment, we may be beginning “Movie Reviews”, which seem like they are exactly the same as this new Movie Club thing, but it’s not, because Movie Club jumps all over the place and usually won’t be a normal review kind of deal. These “Movie Reviews” (which will definitely have a catchier name) will be probably on Sundays and will be normal review kinds of deals of the new movies to come out on weekends. The movie for this weekend, of course, would be The Martian. However, it might not happen very consistently because movies cost $$ and $$ is always hard to come by, so this could end up being a pipe dream.
Now for the lame blog stuff that isn’t story writing:
For the several billion people who didn’t go to Anime Weekend Atlanta, here is the cover page to the binders full of HCAD stuff that thedude was giving out. Be thankful that I don’t make things like this often:
Dyan, Richard, Hannah, and that Somalian kid, whose name was Odawaa as Richard learned, walked along the bank of the creek. Hannah carried a net, filled with several small arthropods, while Odawaa was busy sketching out drawings of his surroundings. Because they were in the Carboniferous period, all four of them had to wear masks to breathe because the atmosphere was somewhat different in this time period than it was in the present, and it would probably been too harmful to go without protection. Richard wondered why they had to carry giant backpacks full of “modern-day air,” with all the technological advances the ISRFA had accomplished. Surely they could have worn some sort of invisible mesh suits over their entire body that circulated air or something.
While she also had the cumbersome breathing apparatus on, Dyan was dressed in full safari outfit, complete with a machete and Pith helmet. She hacked down some vines and charged ahead of the rest of the group.
This is the first post in a series we’re going to call “Movie Club”. We watch a movie that neither of us have seen (which will usually one on Netflix or Hulu), write a short piece pertaining to the film, and then say if we recommend it or not. This week I’ll be the only one writing an essay, as thedude has a con to go to/is a terrible person. Anyway, yeah, here is the thing!
If you’ve heard anything about Darren Aronofsky’s film Noah, it was probably something about rock monsters. Many people, primarily those who went to the theaters expecting a one for one retelling of the flood story from the Bible, were disappointed and upset by some of the artistic liberties that were taken, with the rock monsters being the most often cited example. While you could say that gaps have to be filled when adapting such sparse source material, that the rock monsters are nephilim or golems, or any number of arguments that are either pro or anti rock monster, I feel like the source of much of the film’s negative reception comes from elsewhere.
“Dammit, Eleanor, the American dream is dead!” Rafael spit at his wife and slammed his empty beer bottle on the table.
“Please, Rafael, not in front of the boy!” Eleanor grappled onto a bawling Teddy, whose American flag jammies were now damp with tears.
My Big Fat Madoka Wedding – Chapter Four
It was now just two days before the wedding. Kyoko sat on a couch, bored watching TV. She was the only resident in her entire fort, so when there were no guests, it was very dull. Nothing really was on the TV this afternoon, and it was too early to go to bed. It’s too bad Kyoko couldn’t make it to any of the bridesmaid activities with Sayaka and Kyosuke and all the others; the hijinks that were taking place out there were probably baffling yet hilarious. The fat girl probably had all the best lines though, so Kyoko would have been severely outshined.
Silence of the Lambs was the movie on her small television screen currently. Right now it was at that hilarious part with the girl and the guy saying the cooky stuff about the lotion and hose and all that jazz. She burst out laughing. Oh, what a comedic genius the writer of this movie was. But… Kyoko had seen it a million times, so she flipped the channel, hoping to find something new instead.